I’m off to Content Live tomorrow for two days of content planning with Janet Murray and a host of amazing business owners and speakers. To say I have been excited for a couple of months is an understatement. I’ve been packed a week!
However, it’s been a few years since I’ve been in a crowded room and it’s little coincidence it’s roughly the same amount of time since I was diagnosed with Addison’s disease and with that comes the inability to cope with stress in any form.
I was at the hairdressers this week (getting ready for Content Live obviously) and I was chatting away to the hairdresser quite easily and then all of a sudden, boom! Fatigue hits me out of nowhere. It feels like I’m being cocooned in a tight blanket and only breathing and blinking is possible. I just want to sit there with my mouth open dribbling, listen and nod. I am more than happy to listen endlessly, I enjoy listening and if I could get away with nodding every so often in response that would suit me fine. But it feels terribly rude and that can sometimes make it worse. I don’t want people to think they’re boring me, they’re not (well sometimes they might be) and I hate to appear like I’ve switched off. I haven’t, I can still hear you I am still enjoying you talking, in fact probably even more so because it means I don’t have to talk.
But it’s also hugely positive, and probably why I work so well on my own. Because I don’t have to have conversations, I don’t have to engage with people through speech I can just type it in an email, and it’s one of the reasons I encourage my clients to email me as opposed to telephone, as well as finding it much more efficient, it’s easier for me to absorb and get through the day if it’s one where fatigue is playing a game of survival of the fittest with me.
Anyway, this rapidly became more about me and less about Content Live didn’t it?
I actually can’t wait to wake up tomorrow morning and start my journey to London, from Swindon (a day before Content Live starts so I can rest when I get there). I can’t wait to meet people I have been building relationships with online, I can’t wait to see who looks like their photos and who’s playing a game of Guess Who. I’m expecting to laugh lots, learn lots and am ready to feel a little empty when it’s all over on Friday because I know I am going to get so much from it, but I am also nervous about clouding over in a fog of fatigue. I even suggested to my bf that I should invest in a badge that says ‘I yawn A LOT I’m not bored‘.
Maybe there will be some sticky labels I can utilise?
I’ll let you know how it goes… stay tuned.